It is New Years Eve and I am thinking of the year gone by, of the new year ahead.
In spite of some wonderful highlights this year - our trip home in March for my brother's wedding, special time spent with family and friends who came to visit, I personally am ever so glad to say goodbye to this year and turn a new page.
We had a lovely lovely Christmas with family and new friends in Virginia, and now I am ready for this chapter to close and for a new one to begin.
It's been a year of trying to leave, trying to start fresh, and having to stay where I am, physically and emotionally ... feeling a little stuck and unsure of where to go next. It's been swimming upstream and not making any progress at all. So it is with gladness that I say goodbye and look to a new chapter beginning.
In a few blogs I read like the one by Ali there is talk about a word for a year. It's a prompt, a way of focusing and staying gathered. There are some beautiful words out there being used ... Ali chose 'open' for her word this year. I have never had one, never thought much of the whole process but this time round a word has been appearing and it won't go away, and so i am paying attention. Which is quite apt because the word is 'mindful ' ... to be conscious or aware of something.
For me, it's about being present and aware in the day to day ... mindful of the decisions I make .. how I take care of myself and those around me. How my friendships are tended and reciprocated. How I choose to fill my time - the obligations I choose to take on, the charities I choose to support, the books I choose to read. Being aware. Focused. Not just going along without questioning. Aware of the pressure to live a certain way, think a certain way, hold values I do not. It feels quiet and relevant to me at this time in my life where I am waiting for direction, looking for the next path to appear ahead of me. To be engaged and mindful. To deliberate, to pause, to allow myself time to choose and consider.
As I move into the New Year with a day spent seeing good friends, sipping tea and reading a beach-and-cottage magazine, watching a princess and a Giant's fan trying to waltz to an at-home-dance-party, I am preparing for a quiet family evening at home - dinner in the oven, table set and decorated. I am mindful of my need for time alone at the moment, time to rest and consider ... not in the mood for parties or crowds or social chit chat tonight. I am hopeful for the New Year and wish you and yours a year of good health, laughter and wonderful new memories waiting to be made. To new adventures, to inner peace, to swimming with the current and going with the flow ... to wonderful new views from the river as you swim along.
Good night 2012 and Happy New Year.