Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Cowboy Junkies and other things ...

We were almost asleep when he came home and called to us. The night was blue in a full moon shining on the lemon tree in the back garden. Eye-rubbing we stumbled through into the kitchen in our pyjamas, where he sat us down and put the tape in. It couldn't wait till morning he said. Soft strains of music filled the house and floated out into the nightime. We sat there in the dark on the cold stone step, listening. The house settled in and paid attention. We did not talk, there was no need.

Years ago at university that's how i heard the Cowboy Junkies for the first time - one late night in Grahamstown. I have loved them ever since and so when i heard they were coming to Tarrytown, not far from where i live, how could i not go. It might be 20 years on (how is that possible) but the music was just as beautiful and by myself in the jeans-and-brown-toed-boot-tapping crowd, cups of beer balanced on knees around me, i was taken back to that time so long ago. So many memories, that voice, those lyrics. A lovely night.

Sweet Jane

Aside from that things have been a little on the side of quiet. A birthday party, a parade, playdates and friends. Finally we got to visit the Natural History museum (above) .. i loved the hall with shells and ferns and mushrooms the most. Beautiful displays. A few shop windows have been done. A few too many blogs have been read and not enough writing has been done. A few days of wondering what i'm doing exactly. No painting. Not one bit. Just not much free time. Friends who were just friends all those years ago and now they are winning awards and living in fancy houses and doing amazing things. Making all my insecurities jump around noisily so i take notice.

Tomorrow we head down to Virginia for some family time over Easter ... a long road and i have my music ready. Eggs have been hollowed out read for painting and for the Easter Bunny to do his magic.

Around here we are waiting with bated breath for spring to surprise us. There are the tiniest hints of buds on the trees and small tendrils of green uncurling in the damp soil. We are dreaming of warm days and being outside, of new gardens to plant and maybe even a new house to call home. Fingers are crossed. I will keep you updated. 

Saturday, March 9, 2013

It's not perfect ...

I admit it. It's not perfect over here. There is mess. A LOT of mess. The table which should be softly gleaming in the afternoon light with a fresh bunch of flowers or a good home cooked meal, is mostly looking like this.

Different mess on different days. I do at least rotate it. Most of the time. To keep things visually interesting. Life is feeling like a lot of laundry, dishes, more dishes, and snack, dinner, breakfast, snack, groceries right now. I don't seem to get to that elusive place where i can sigh out happily, put my feet up and say my list of to do's is done and everything is just peachy. 

We are house hunting. Again. I am drinking too much tea and daydreaming about painted walls and sunny gardens. 

I am redoing windows (ABC Cakes) and dreaming of spring.

I am reading too many blogs and getting a little lost in other people's lives rather than dealing with my own. Which mostly involves more tidying, especially my desk, and that's really not appealing right now. I am typing with my arms resting on a pile of papers though so maybe it's time to face up the to job. Maybe if when we move though, that might be a better time. I can tidy and put things straight as i am packing and then once we move (because, please universe, i hope we finally can, this year) then i can be all organized from day one. And i am going to be perfect going forward. After we move that is. There will not be mess anymore. Ever. And i will also go to interesting parties and more concerts and be more funky. I will. I wish.

I'm just feeling a bit in a creative and life slump. Not so much for lacking ideas, just being a little tired after too many broken nights and early wakings for bowls of cereal. And too much constant tidying. Clearly it's not a job i am that good at otherwise i would get it done, once and for all and be done with it. This is how it goes sometimes. Thinking too much of all the years ago when we were fresh-eyed fine art students just beginning. How things have changed over the years. How some have gone on to do beautiful things. That's the problem with looking back and comparisons. The what ifs. The why haven't i's. They why am i not doing more's. They come back to haunt me sometimes and i have learnt just to let them come and then eventually they grow tired of pecking at me and fly away. And then i can look up again. For now i will look at beautiful pages like this one i found recently for inspiration and daytime dreaming. I will drink my tea and maybe later, once i have woken up properly, i will be REALLY brave and tackle my desk.

Or maybe i'll just take the two munchkins back out into the snow and we'll have a little more fun because maybe that's really what this is all about, and everything else ... well, like my dining room table, it can wait.