Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Still here ...

I'm still here. In the misty early morning silences where the trees stretch fingers to the sky to welcome the new day. Where the leaves have turned from green to glowing reds and oranges, and now they're slowly fading to browns and rust. Fall is beautiful with crisp mornings and sunny afternoons, but the light is shifting and winter is around the corner.

Summer went in a blur of green busy-ness. Painting walls and fretting over furniture placement. Tearing out carpets and varnishing floors. Finding our way around a new place. Swimming at the town pool. Wondering how long it will take to make friends. Hoping the children will settle in quickly. Seeing friends after a long time apart, and having family come to visit. Wonderful weeks with my mom, visiting from South Africa. Lots of coffee and catching up. The inevitable heartache when she had to go home. And me wishing i could go with her. Long cups of tea spent on the back deck, just listening to the silence and watching the trees. Standing. Acts of kindness which nearly undid me. Sometimes we can be so fragile that it doesn't take much. Time spent watching new bikes being ridden and football played on a freshly cut lawn. New schools and new routines. A few weeks in, we are starting to find our feet a little more each day. The roads are becoming familiar, i am driving without my GPS more and more often. Slowly slowly. Now it's Fall - the season of birthdays (in our house), pumpkins and apple picking. Scarecrows and Halloween just around the corner.

I needed the silence. A bit of space to collect myself. I missed being here. I was putting so much pressure onto all of it that i lost the simple joy in sending a few words out into the ether. Wondering where they would settle instead of just letting them go. It's good to be back. I was feeling a little overwhelmed by the beautiful online community. By how much amazing work is out there, by the creativity everywhere. I needed time to scale back a little, to delete the links which were just not making me feel good, to stop putting pressure on. It's good to be back to visiting just a few special places where i always leave feeling inspired, challenged in a good way, a little more thoughtful, a little softer round the edges. And lots of time spent playing on Pinterest. I never get tired of that!

I'm glad you're still here ... I hope the past few months have been kind to you too.


 Our woods. I am still a little overwhelmed by that fact !

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