I am still holding January responsible. The month, not the person. Not that i know anyone called January, but you might.
It's the cold and the snow on the ground which is just not melting and the roads look all chalky and dry and my car ... well let's just say it's actually grey but no one can tell when i drive by anymore. A good time to be spying or having adventures where i don't want to be recognised. But it's too cold to be out and i don't feel like having adventures.
I think it's the winter blues and in January they're the worst and at least February is short (even though it has Valentines Day, but then some people like that, and all the red and pink hearts do cheer things up. A little.)
And March is lots of birthdays and spring and Easter ALMOST there. But January. It just has nothing going for it. Not in my book anyway.
January has me feeling like i will never feel excited about anything in the whole world again. Ever. It has me sitting on Pinterest for an hour when i should be asleep, desperately trying to find just one image that makes me feel excited, alive, inspired. Nothing. Instead i eat way too many Oreos and i don't even like them that much. It's either that or some of the kids' snacks. And i've eaten enough Goldfish in my lifetime (the cheesy - cracker - kind, for those of you not American. Not the fish. The real ones i mean. I have never eaten actual goldfish, nor do i plan to).
January has me trying to paint and just having to throw my hands up in despair wondering why i bother. No wonder i nearly failed Art School.
It has me thinking i have completely messed up my life and that everyone else is happier, prettier, super successful, very famous and having way more fun. Especially those beautiful happy people on private yachts where it is WARM. It has me thinking of all the things in my life i have done wrong. There's a cheerful train of thought for a cold winters day. A very long train.
It's not just me, either. Everyone around me seems to be feeling the same way. Uninspired. Hopeless. It's the lack of sunshine and Vitamin D. I know it. The rich among us are booking tickets to St. Thomas or the Dominican Republic for the February break. The rest of us are dreaming of wearing flip flops and drinking something large and red from a cocktail glass. Throw in a cherry and a slice of pineapple. And a beach under our feet. Ah. Wouldn't that be bliss. Maybe we'll have to recreate our own beach paradise indoors with huge UV lights and a pile of sand. Nothing desperate about that.
I shall keep crossing off the days on my calendar. Keep my head down to brace myself against the cold. Just a few more sleeps. We can do this.
February, you had better warm up and be super sunny. Or else.