Thursday, October 15, 2015

On looking for work but drinking tea instead ....

This is what my pile of reading looks like at the moment. Can you see the theme ... this is what happens when it's been 9 years since the last professional employment and one doesn't have a label. People ask me what I am. Or was. Or did. As if my life ended 9 years ago when in so many ways it was a new beginning. 

I knew it wouldn't be easy to go back after taking so much time off. I knew moving countries might shake me up a little. I knew it would be easier to stay working in the same place and to have a career that grew in a straight line and by now I would be so much closer to the top. But then I never was much good at straight lines or climbing ladders. There are other ways to make a life.

Still. Here it is. The new threshold and I am really really lost. A few window displays now and then, some painting commissions ... sadly they don't seem to count for much. I scan the job ads and want to cry in frustration. Not knowing which way. Or what. Full-time or part, here or there. 

Yesterday my oldest was sick. Not very sick, just enough to need a day at home. We hung out in our comfy clothes, he on the computer, me with my DVD player on my lap. We ate chocolate eclairs for lunch and drank a lot of tea. The house was peaceful and the light was streaming in. I decided to take a whole day off and hang around doing not much of anything and it felt so wonderful.

So that's my new agenda. The job searching can wait. I am going to eat soup and drink in the beauty of fall all around me, go for walks in the crunching leaves and catch a few as they drift down in the breeze. I am going to drink tea and lose myself in Downton Abbey, get lost in a different world for a while. I'm a little late in discovering this beautiful series but now that I have, I am absolutely hooked.