This is what my pile of reading looks like at the moment. Can you see the theme ... this is what happens when it's been 9 years since the last professional employment and one doesn't have a label. People ask me what I am. Or was. Or did. As if my life ended 9 years ago when in so many ways it was a new beginning.
I knew it wouldn't be easy to go back after taking so much time off. I knew moving countries might shake me up a little. I knew it would be easier to stay working in the same place and to have a career that grew in a straight line and by now I would be so much closer to the top. But then I never was much good at straight lines or climbing ladders. There are other ways to make a life.
Still. Here it is. The new threshold and I am really really lost. A few window displays now and then, some painting commissions ... sadly they don't seem to count for much. I scan the job ads and want to cry in frustration. Not knowing which way. Or what. Full-time or part, here or there.
Yesterday my oldest was sick. Not very sick, just enough to need a day at home. We hung out in our comfy clothes, he on the computer, me with my DVD player on my lap. We ate chocolate eclairs for lunch and drank a lot of tea. The house was peaceful and the light was streaming in. I decided to take a whole day off and hang around doing not much of anything and it felt so wonderful.
So that's my new agenda. The job searching can wait. I am going to eat soup and drink in the beauty of fall all around me, go for walks in the crunching leaves and catch a few as they drift down in the breeze. I am going to drink tea and lose myself in Downton Abbey, get lost in a different world for a while. I'm a little late in discovering this beautiful series but now that I have, I am absolutely hooked.